Once upon a time: a follow up on my sad post

So.

I'm about to make a pecan pie, but decided I wanted to write something really quickly first, as well as showing some of my favorite memes that I've collected over the last month or so:

I would like to apologize for my last post ranting about my feelings. Sometimes I just have bad days and need to vent about it somewhere. The same thing happened last night. I ended up calling The Guru and he, surprisingly, really helped me through it. I only say it was surprising because this was the first time I've reached out to him when I'm having a current emotional problem and try to talk through those feelings with him. Of course, they dealt with Confused Asshole. Which is probably why I needed a guys input on my feelings, since they were caused by a male. 

It was nice, because, at one point in the conversation, completely unsolicited, The Guru said "I know you were an amazing girlfriend and friend to him. There wouldn't be many girls who would actually stick around after that, most of them would have run."

I'm not sharing this to be self-gratifying or to toot my own horn. It was just some unexpected kindness that ended up making me feel better about the particular situation at hand. Which caused me to come to a realization: I need to date someone - not to like, have a deep meaningful relationship, but just so I can relearn what it's like to date someone, like, date a NORMAL person. Where they're nice to you. However, I still know I'm not ready to date someone in a serious way. That would just be too much right now. But dating someone for like, 3 months and breaking it off before there's too much commitment?  Totally doable.

I want to be this cow

The other thing that brought this to light - the realization that I've been (for lack of a better word) trained to expect the person I'm with to not be all that nice to me - occurred yesterday. We were driving and were at a stop light. I had handed Guru my phone because I was attempting to get him to say something in a gay man voice and he would only do it if he had my phone so he knew I wasn't recording it. In the middle of me telling him the voice had been better before and laughing at him, the light traffic starts moving in front of us. Because we were in his car, and it's a manual, he drops my phone, and swears as he tries to get his car into gear, and ends up stalling on a steep hill, plus the car makes these kind of terrible sounds. I of course, feel horrible as he was distracted because of me. I apologized because had this been with Confused Asshole he would have been upset with me for the situation. Guru responds with "why are you apologizing? It totally wasn't your fault." Needless to say, I was a little shocked. This had happened once before when I'd interrupted him giving directions to a group of tourists, I apologized and he genuinely seemed surprised I thought there was something to apologize for. I didn't realize until later, with both situations, that I apologized because I'd been conditioned to do so through my previous relationship.

This is the update on the situation. This is my life.

I hope you enjoyed the memes. Because I think they're awesome. 

Toodles! Hope you have a fabulous Sabbath!

-PM